


Her stars

by PerseusHuntress



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 13:57:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16833988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerseusHuntress/pseuds/PerseusHuntress





	Her stars

Tali stared into space. The secret hope was all at once a blessing and a burden. Only her and Miranda were to know about it, and it was to stay that way. Until Miranda was certain that she would pull through.

In moments when the galaxy was watching the Reapers light up the sky, exploding into showers of glowing sparks, like fireworks of victory, the Normandy was grieving.

The Citadel had fallen to Earth and with it so did the last hope that she would come back.

Tali will never forget that moment. The memories of it were carved into her consciousness for eternity. 

Liara was screaming, it was a howl of raw despair, anguish and pain. She must have been calling her name, but it was unintelligible to Tali who was too shocked, too numb. Javik was trying to put a hand on the asari’s arm to comfort her but she exploded into violence, hitting him hard on the chest. He grabbed her fist as she withdrew it and pinned her against himself, just holding her. The screaming gave way to tears. 

Through the blur she could see Kaidan, holding back Joker who was struggling for the controls of the ship. Tears stained Kaidan’s face, but he held Joker firmly, unwavering only his eyes betrayed the resignation to the new reality of a galaxy without her.

And Garrus, recalling him in those moments was unbearable. She heard him before she saw him, a loud metallic clash made her turn. He must have swayed and hit the wall of the Normandy with the full force of his heavy armour, sliding down the wall, collapsing on himself in total silence. She rushed to him to arrest his fall, but then she saw his eyes the pain in them was so colossal that it stopped her in her tracks. The once bright blue eyes were lifeless black holes, all colour and animation drained from them. He didn’t attempt to break the fall, or make a sound. 

He didn’t speak for days. Once Joker finally managed to set the Normandy down on that forsaken planet, the turian picked up his omni-tool and just worked on the Normandy without a word. They tried to speak to him, but he just ignored them. She came to see him him every night, bringing food. Sometimes he ate in silence, sometimes he simply looked at her before averting his eyes. Most days the meals were left untouched. She would talk nonsense at him, giving him useless updated on the Normandy, holding his hand. Much later he told her, it helped. 

One night once the Normandy was flight worthy, she set off on her daily pilgrimage to the battery but he wasn’t there.

She looked all over the ship for him, no one saw him, until the only place left was the one place that hasn’t been touched since the night the Reapers were destroyed. Her cabin.

She took the elevator up, it was all so normal, she was fighting back the hope that she will open that door and find her, working late into the night. Tali had to fight the feeling, she was gone.

She rapped on the door out of habit, no one answered. Tali inhaled deeply and opened the door.

The turian was feeding the hamster. Tali was speechless. Whatever she expected Garrus to be doing, this wasn’t it. 

Without turning he spoke, his voice catching on the weeks of silence.  
“The fluff ball takes after her. No one has fed him since London, but the little bastard chewed through the box and managed to get at the treats. I am impressed.”

Tali was rooted in place, she was blind sided by the normality of it all. She half expected her voice to drift from the other side of the room chastising him for spoiling the animal. 

Garrus stroked the hamster’s tiny head with his finger before closing the cage door. “I’ll take him with me when I leave”. As if in trance he moved slowly through the room, sat on the bed and looked up into the porthole above the bed. 

“You know, she told me once, the stories written in her stars. She loved this window, it let them in, through those lights, those that passed, watched over her, spurred her on, told her never to give up. It was simultaneously the most beautiful and deranged thing she ever told me. We laughed and she pointed out Ashley to me.” He looked down at his hands. 

When he finally looked up at Tali still frozen in the door way, his eyes were filled with such pain and despair, that she broke from the hypnotic spell and run to him.

He was barely audible when she wrapped herself around him.

“Do you think Shepard is there watching us now?”

And then the world broke around them.


End file.
